Another new chapter in my life has begun: life without Dad.
My Dad, Lorne McKinnell, was a fortunate man. He led an adventurous life, one deeply tied to the sea. When he retired as a commercial fisherman he calculated he had spent as much time on the ocean as he had on land.
As a kid growing up in Nanaimo, BC, I spent a lot of time on the docks with him and on the boat when it was tied up – but not out on the ocean. “Girls are bad luck on boats,” he always said. Later, I realized it wasn’t superstition keeping me away—it was strategy. He just didn’t want his daughters around his deckhands!
But he didn’t know back then that I was born with salt in my blood. No matter how he tried to keep me away, I took after him in his seafaring ways. I do wish he had taught me how to tie knots, though. To this day, I can only manage three or four before my brain kicks the first ones out to make room. I never let him off the hook for not teaching me more, and I think, in the end, he wished he had.
Still, he lived long enough to see me get a trawler of my own. He tried to pass on what he could—lessons on running an old boat with a diesel engine. How to re-pack a stuffing box. How many drips are too little or too many. And the most important rule of all: check the oil every single time. “One day,” he said, “you’ll be glad you did.”
Dad lived nearly 96 years. He always said the best way to die is to get shot by a jealous husband. He didn’t get that ending, but the time he suffered was short, and for that I’m grateful.
Having lost my mom 8 years ago, I now understand that our relationship isn’t over. All the love is still right here. And each time I think I wish Dad could see this or What would Dad say? I will somehow just know.
We just can’t make any new memories together. But everything else stays the same.
I learned a lot of life’s important lessons from Dad. His sayings are countless and I know they will continue to pop into my head when I need them most.
Dad wasn’t a photographer, but I believe I inherited my eye from him—or at least, I learned it from him. So many times, we’d be out walking, me with my camera in hand, and he’d say, “Take a photo of that.” I’d look, puzzled. “What?”
Then he’d point again, explaining—always something about the lines, the shadows, the way things fit together. Sometimes I didn’t see it at all. But I took the photo anyway. And later, when I saw it on the back of my camera, I’d understand.
Here are some of those photos:
On Dad’s 80th birthday, I gave him a message in a bottle. He had to fish the message out with a hoochie attached to a hook. (When I was a kid, it was my job to sort the hoochies. I’m not sure they needed to be sorted, but that’s how he kept me busy.)
Inside was a poem I wrote about his life and our memories together. I’m always worried I’m going to lose it, so this feels like the right time to share it here so I know it will never be lost. (By the way Brechin is a neighbourhood in Nanaimo where Dad grew up. He lived his entire life in Nanaimo.)
It’s a bit lengthy, but it meant a lot to him (and to me). Scroll if you must!
The Kid from Brechin is 80
Here’s to my dear Dad,
World’s finest seagoing matey.
Now, with joy, we celebrate,
A big birthday — Dad’s eighty!
Hard to believe our Captain
Has reached this age, you know.
He’s been on the move forever,
As a do’er on the go!
Raised by his Mom and his Uncle Sam
His youthful antics stood out in a crowd.
But even then, he was the very best,
I’m sure his family was always proud.
I loved when I was little,
We’d go to the wharf, you see.
He’d work on his boat and talk all day,
So happy he would be.
I’d wait forever it seems,
For my loquacious pop.
Who’d always take me for cherry pie
At our favourite coffee shop.
He’s big in stature, for sure,
Do anything, he can.
And once at Universal Studios,
They made him “Bionic Man.”
Right on stage he did it,
With muscles and with pluck.
He used his massive strength
And he picked up a truck!
He always loves to tease,
Really fine and dandy.
Except the time he told me
There was poison in my “chicken bones” candy.
We’d always go for walks,
To the boat basin and Neck Point, too.
Dad is just the greatest,
At everything he’d do.
“There are 2 kinds of people,”
“Thinkers and do’ers,” he’d say.
Dad’s a do’er extraordinaire,
A bundle of activity all day.
Took us all to Disneyland,
“Pirates of the Caribbean” was our scene.
Then I went on Dumbo,
Escorted, per Dad, by Colleen.
Another time, in Hawaii,
Dad, Kathleen and I,
Rode the waves on an outrigger,
It was wild, oh my!
Mom’s not too crazy ‘bout this,
His habit she’ll always combat.
Fact is, our beloved Dad
Is a fishing gear pack rat.
Our lawn and under the sundeck,
Are crammed, as poor Mom whines,
With crab traps, crates and floats,
And probably a zillion lines.
We thought we almost lost him
When the Vargus Raider went down.
He wasn’t wearing his life jacket
But he WAS wearing a frown.
Fortunately, Dad was rescued,
Sailors are good for something, after all.
The crabs would have had their revenge,
A grand crustaceans’ ball.
Fact is, he was a big success,
A fisherman for some sixty years.
Made a wonderful living for all of us,
His truly special dears.
Now he’s a regular retiree,
He needs a new hobby or two.
Maybe he’ll write his memoirs,
He’ll be happy whatever he’ll do.
With it all, our Dad,
Is always of humour that’s great.
Because he does what he loves,
Getting to the water? Can’t wait!
He teases Mom good naturedly,
Makes us laugh all day.
He’s just the world’s best Dad,
What else can I say?
I always give him straw hats,
But this birthday is not the norm.
So now, a poem in a bottle,
A message to inform …
My Dad, eighty years young,
In all ways, just the best.
Filled with love and care,
Standing every test.
He’s mastered eight decades
And shown us how it’s done —
By working hard and living right
And having lots of fun.
So Dad, my birthday wishes,
Bright as the ocean sun above,
Happy birthday, peace and joy,
And most of all, my love.
I was able to fly home to be with him in his last days, and I’d like to think I made the transition easier for him. We said we loved each other. I sang him his favourite song.
At one point, he said, “No one is telling me.”
I realized how awful it must be—to be in a hospital, knowing everyone is talking about you, but no one is telling you what’s happening. I felt like I had to tell him.
“Dad, I think it’s your time.”
Those are the hardest words I’ve ever had to say.
Lorne McKinnell
1929 – 2025
What a lovely tribute. Brings good ol tears to my 77yo eyes. Was with mine in the end, could be crazy and hard at times, but never ever wished not to be there. Helped to lean on the phrase “There’s a time when you wish for their recovery, and… there will come a time when you wish for their release.” Blessings.
Anne, Thanks for sharing your Dad and experiences with us. Your article and poem are beautiful!
I’m so sorry for your loss, Anne. Your poem is a beautiful tribute to him. Love is eternal, and his love will be with you…always.
Thank you for this Anne, and what a sublime and wonderful send off, as that is truly a lovely poem! I’m glad you where able to have the photo taken last year, as you have that to treasure forever! Gosh, he looked so well and refreshed at the time of the photo taken! My parents have been gone for quite some time now, and of course I have memories as we all do as well. I”m also thankful you have a good man in your life, one that will continue those memories we all cherish, and he too is a go’er, always busy fixing or upgrading, and I appreciate his video’s and newsletters as well! I’m surprised how much you resemble your dad, even with his smile, and always keep those memories alive, as think of him looking down on you, waiting for your smile, knowing you are safe and happy! Having daughters of my own, I know how special they are in our hearts as dad’s, so when you mentioned the reason why he didn’t want you on the boats, I quite possibly would have done the same, for those same reasons. I’m sure near the end his heart was full, knowing Ray will be your deckhand, yet safe and content with him.
I’m sorry about your dad, Anne. My deepest condolences to you.
Condolences on the loss of your dad. It sounds like he lived a wonderful life doing what he loved. Your poem is a beautiful remembrance of your time together. By the look of those photos he suggested you take, I’d say he definitely had an artistic eye for beauty. Not a day goes past that I don’t think of my own dad who passed in ’99; our love and memories are eternal. Much love to you and your family.
My condolences Anne! I sympathize with You!
Anne, my condolences with your loss. It’s very sad to loose a parent, you are the oldest generation now. I wish you a lot of strength, happily you have wonderful memories.
Anne, sounds like your Dad a full life.,a good life & one filled with love. You can ask for more but why. Hope to have someone think about that way- with love.
Anne, my condolences to you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute.
The love between you and your dad is wonderful to hear about, and I know his love will keep you warm on those cold winter nights…. Thank you for sharing this warmth with us…
So sorry for your loss Anne . Such a lovely post of your dad’s life. Although he is physically gone, your beautiful memories and lessons he taught you will live on forever in your heart.
My sympathies to you.
Liana in Montreal
It’s always sad to see a dear one departing and I’m sure your dad was feeling grateful to have had you around during his last days. At least you’re left with all the wonderful memories you can cherish.
Your Dad and Mum must have been terrific to have had such a wonderfully talented and loving daughter❤️
Anne, so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. You’ve written such a wonderful tribute and painted a lovely picture of the man he was and how loved he was by you and your family. Having lost my dad too early at 82 and more recently my mom at 86, I understand how different life is now without them but how remembering them even in just “Dad would have loved ….. or mom would have enjoyed…” brings a smile and warmth of heart. They are always with us in love.
take care
Paula in Victoria
Great tribute to your Dad, it brought tears to these 77 year old eyes.
Just lovely Anne.
Dear Anne, you’ve helped me through so many transitions in my photography journey. I hope all of these comments do the same for you. It is really difficult to lose your father but you have wonderful memories and that is the best comfort. Best wishes.
Happy for you having him, and for so long.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your dad. What a wonderful, heartfelt tribute, and poem, to him. It’s a treat to see photos of him and the one of him with your mom. You’re such a cutie in the photo with him and King Lionidas. Your dad certainly did have an eye for artistic composition. He must have been so proud of you, especially your love of the sea, just like his. I have lost both of my parents too, and what you said, “All the love is still right here” is so true. Thank you for letting us into such a precious part of your life.
Anne, so sorry for your loss. And, what a wonderful life you had with him. What a beautiful story.
Jeff
Thank you, Anne, for the wonderful sharing. My deepest condolences to your Dad’s passing on. May his soul rest in peace. I like all the photographs you shared in the post especially the photo of your Dad at Neck Point Park. God’s blessings always.
Anne,
My deepest sympathies to you and your family. What a loving tribute to your wonderful father (yes, I read the whole poem) and what a legacy he’s left in you. Great photos of your father but even more wonderful memories to sustain you at this difficult time.
Warmly,
Carolyn
Such a beautiful tribute to a wonderful father. The love you had for your dad is truly evident. Every child should have such a father. Thanks for sharing.
Sorry for your loss, Anne.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. The memories he left behind will offer some comfort but he certainly will be missed.
So Very Sorry for your loss, an Awesome Dad no doubt!! Thank you for sharing those wonderful memories with us.
A beautiful ode to your Dad! So very lucky to have such a wonderful relationship.
My condolences Anne. You have written a wonderful tribute to a wonderful Dad.
Anne, I am so sorry on the loss of your precious Dad. The poem you wrote is a wonderful record of your times together and the things you loved to do with him and about him.
Love Jenny
Beautifully written and I’m sure you’ll find everyone will sympathize and empathize. I am now 80 myself but remember so much – and so often – my dad who died two days after turning 75 and my mother who died at the age of almost 94. Miss them every day. I hope my children will remember me with as much love and good memories. Thank you for sharing.
Anne & Ray,
What a beautiful tribute to your father, Anne. It’s interesting how we follow similar paths as our parents. Glad you were able to be there with your father in his last days, so important and meaningful for all.
I too recently lost my father, November of 2024. He too had a long and eventful life. I am grateful to he and my Mom for the life lessons they instilled in me, that have helped shape the life I lead today.
My condolences to you and your family.
Your Dad’s story was touching. He sounds like a great guy who lived a good life. My condolences to you on his passing.
May you experience the peace that surpasses all understanding. John 3:16, Peter 2:24. What a beautiful tribute and poem to the memory of your relationship.
You were very fortunate! Hard loss but wonderful memories that will keep him close to you forever.
God bless, Anne McKinnell! So sorry you lost your father, but what wonderful memories you were able to share. Thank you for making me understand, just a little, who he was. Prayers for healing for you. You will see him again someday.
Praying for you and the family. Keep living the dream, as seems your dad did, each it your own ways.
Such a caring, thoughtful response to your Dad’s passing. He sounded like a very interesting man and enjoyed seeing his ties to the sea.
Cheers John.
What a loving tribute this is. It brought tears, made me think of my parents. We lost dad June of 2023 & mom a short time later in April of 2024. You don’t realize the impact they have you until they are gone. So very sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.
He will be missed just like my Dad and Mom.
I never met my uncle. He was shot down over Germany in Ww2 in a B-17 .
My dad said to never forget him .
So I took his picture and all his medals and put them in a frame. It’s hanging on our wall.
It will be as long as I’m here it will be there.
Wish I could have met him.
Lovely tribute to your dad. You have extraordinary strength. May God bless you. Alf
Dad and Daughter relationships are so special. May your wonderful memories of your Dad comfort you and bring warmth to your heart.
What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this and your precious family photos and memories.
I am sorry for your loss. As a Nanaimo girl myself (though not currently) from life-long Nanaimo parents and grandmothers, I enjoyed the photos that went along with your tribute as they are familiar to me (as was the photo of your dad from where he lived – I recognized the kitchen – my mother lived in the same senior’s apartment!!). I have lost both my parents, but hold all the memories close. May he rest in peace.
So sorry to hear of your dads passing Anne. What a beautiful tribute to your dad.
Beautiful tribute to your Dad! You are very creative with your poetry and story telling!
Regards, Kathy Burton
Anne, what a beautiful tribute. I love the poem. You and I are very lucky to have had such great Dad’s. My Dad passed in 1989 at 86 years of experience. I talk to him most days and love using the tools I inherited knowing my hands are caressing the wrenches where he touched them. I was raised in a wonderful family with two sisters. Dad and I spent many great days hunting and fishing. Now, my daughter is such an independent person such as you are. I taught her how to weld, fibreglass and electrical work. She is not afraid to tackle anything. I know from following you and Ray over the years you are the same.Cherish your memories. They’ll fade very little. Let Ray give you a big hug and enjoy what you had.
Hello Anne – from one end of our beautiful country to the other ( I am in Prince Edward Island). Just wanted to express my sympathy to you on the loss of your Dad – your write-up on him was so lovely, along with your poem. You were very blessed to have had him in your life. Remember all your good times and fond memories.
Deepest sympathy to you.
What a wonderful tribute to your dad. Cherish your memories, they will last forever. My dad is 80 and he lives in Dripping Springs, Texas. We are way up here in East Helena, MT. I need to visit him again very soon.
Beautiful memories and that man is fishing with the angels today.
Anne ,
Please accept my sympathy on your Dad’s passing.
That was a wonderful tribute and celebration of yours Dad’s life. I know he would have enjoyed reading it as well.
Dale
So sorry to hear of your loss, Anne. It appears that you had a close and great relationship with your dad.
Oh Anne,
I am so sorry. It is hard to lose a parent, especially one that must have been as loved as yours. You are right, the memories remain. I know you will stay surrounded in his love.
Janet Richardson